Obsession

It’s been almost a month. I’m a jerk at this. I know (hi, Miranda!).

So let’s chat. Let’s chat about my newest obsession. Here, let me show you.

That’s right. My name is Ann, and I have become addicted to Pinterest. Specifically, looking up new, healthy recipes and new, muscle-busting challenges. I knew there was a good reason I held off signing up for so long, considering how much time I’ve spent on it in the last few weeks.

It has been nearly a month since the last time I updated, and I’ll be honest. I’m sore, I’m tired, and I’m not seeing improvement. GCB has. I know this because we’ve had this conversation:

Me: I’m not noticing anything different.
Him: I can. Your butt is lifting.
Me: How can you even tell? It’s not even been six weeks.
Him: Those compression capris don’t leave much to the imagination.

Touche, boyfriend.

Anyway, May was a much better month for working out than April was. I got into a bit of a rhythm, thanks to the Mean Abs Challenge, and was doing really well until I went to Baltimore to visit family. Oops. That kind of killed momentum for me, as well as put me behind on the challenge. (But I saw Camden Yards, so that was awesome!!)

However, I’m nothing if not bull-headed, so I’m finishing the thing. End of story.

This month I’m trying something new, though. For the last few years, my workout schedule has been in a google spreadsheet, easily accessible from my phone anywhere I went.

I’ve been ignoring that pretty little, painstakingly prepared spreadsheet for the last year. Creating it, filling in the upcoming workouts, and then ignoring it.

So instead, for June I’m trying this.

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Yes, I’m very Type A. Yes, those are little pieces of paper for every single day of June, complete with a full list of the exercises I plan to do, blurry though this picture is. Yes, I will be crossing the “rest days” off as well.

It is June 1. Today I already noticed something about myself.

I can be VERY overzealous when I’m just writing down workouts. I say this because after the Iron Strength plus the Mean Abs Challenge, PLUS an extra few tricep dips, just for funsies, I went right on ahead and took out five other exercises that there was no way my body was finishing.

Granted, it’s only 9pm, and I don’t have to do anything tomorrow, so I may very well do them later just because.

See? Obsessed.

This month is going to be something of a personal challenge. To see how much I can accomplish, how much I improve just by following a schedule I put together by taking bits and pieces from all sorts of places.

For July, I have a different plan. You know, compare and contrast. Hi, I’m a scientist. Comparing and analyzing is my job.

July will be a full month of HIIT, in the form of this 30 Day Challenge. This one scares me a little. I’m not even going to think about this one for another few weeks.

My running update will have to wait for a different post. There are lots of new things and awesome things and less than stellar things and not nearly as much progress as I’d have liked to have seen by now, and today? Today I don’t feel like talking about it. So. Soon.

How’s your training going, if you’re doing any? Any big races coming up?

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We Can Learn to Love Again

I’ve started this post quite a few times over the last week, but I’m still tongue-tied. Still hurting for people I’ve never met.

There are so many blog posts out there where people so very eloquently express, moreso than I could, just what the running community is feeling. This is OUR sport, and how DARE someone mess with that.

Friday was incredibly rough for me. It’s tough to face down the reality that a simple matter of geography could very easily have changed “them” to “us.” I’d have been at that race had I lived in Boston. GCB would have been called in to deal with that, had we lived in Boston.

That would have been us, had we lived in Boston.

All I could do Friday when I got home was cry into his shirt. It’s another jolt, forcing me to stare straight into the face of mortality, and the mostly unspoken and truly terrifying possibility of him not coming home to me.

And then? I feel overwhelmingly guilty. Guilty that I’m looking at this selfishly. Guilty that I’m not taking advantage of the fact that my city isn’t being attacked, that my legs are still there, that I can run whenever I want, yet I’m not doing so.

Last year in the midst of all the “I hate running yet I’m still training for junk” feelings, I recommitted to running more times than I can count. Promises to myself that I would dedicate my time, my energy, and my focus to getting better, being healthier, getting READY for those races ahead of me.

And look how well that worked out.

I feel like this time is different. This time I’m committing to remembering why I love this. To running for those who can’t. To doing this because I WANT to, because I can. To teaching myself, learning to love this again.

Training for Tough Mudder starts this week. There is no choice but to train for this one. It will not be possible to walk the last third because I didn’t train hard enough.

But I won’t take this for granted. I get to do this because I can, because I love it.

Because no one will keep runners from running.

Boston strong.

Happy

I am happy.

So happy that sometimes it feels unfair, like I’m taking more than my share. I recognize this is flawed logic, but still.

Reasons that I’m happy!

  • Just spent the most PERFECT weekend with GCB. Pub crawl Saturday, quiet Sunday, anniversary and Cardinals home opener Monday, and waffles and turning in the keys to my old apartment Tuesday. I don’t know that I can fully express JUST how good it feels to be done, DONE, with the old place. When I moved in, I was finally back to living alone (which I truly enjoy). But this, the living with the boyfriend thing, is SO MUCH BETTER than living alone. That and the perfect weather on Monday, baseball being back, recreating our first date (Ted Drewes!!), and just relaxing made all four days out of work so worth it. Going back to work today was rough. Ha.
  • This weekend my lovely friend Josey, along with her awesome husband and daughter, are coming to St Louis! Baseball, good friends, beers. What more could you ask for?
  • NEXT weekend, my roommate from my freshman year of college, Laura, and her husband are coming in for the Tap’n’Run. That weekend will be HOCKEY, good friends, and beers. And running.
  • And then there are the plans. OH the plans! Trips to the lake and to Chicago; my sister, brother-in-law, and adorable nephew coming to Missouri in July; going to visit family in Baltimore in May; concerts, baseball games, SUMMER, a new nephew!!!
  • On top of that (there’s more?!). The running. And GCB running WITH me! Tough Mudder in September, then a month later a Halloween half marathon. I am SO excited to have him want to share in these type moments with me. I really hit the jackpot finding him.

Things are just so, SO good right now. I feel lucky every single day.

Perma-grin, right over here.

I Like to Move It, Move It

Dudes. It happened. Moving happened.

My apologies on the silence, but seriously, do you know how much time it takes to go through three years of accumulated junk? Long time. And now it will take time to unpack a majority of said junk (the stuff that made it through my THROW AWAY ALL THE THINGS phase). BUT. Moving is done.

My boyfriend is my roommate, and that is AWESOME.

And, because I’m so much more excited about the bread nuggets in this salad than I should be, I’ll leave you with a picture. This is the view from the roof of our building.

I love this place.

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Two Weeks

Two weeks from today GCB and I sign the lease to our very awesome, very OURS, very downtown loft.

Guys, I am FINALLY moving back into the city!!! I lived in the Central West End for a year back in 2008, and I LOVED it. I loved being able to run for less than half a mile and end up in Forest Park. I loved walking to assorted eateries and coffee shops. I loved the noise, the PACE, the fact that it seemed to pulse on exceptionally busy days. I moved straight to U City after the CWE and have been here for the last four years.

But oh man, I am so excited to get back. This time it will be even better! This time I’ll be MUCH more financially stable. Not to mention the whole “walking distance to both Busch Stadium AND Scottrade” thing; being super close to things like our favorite restaurant, my dentist, and the place I would go for PT on my hip; guaranteed parking spots; grocery store super close; etc.

The fact that I’m finally going to officially live with GCB? Icing on the cake.

The only problem? It’s still two weeks away. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW FAR AWAY THAT IS?!

You see, two weeks is too long to go ahead and pack my kitchen, since we still use the majority of stuff frequently (hell, yesterday I used a pie plate to make chicken pot pie….when I’d originally thought I’d be packing it yesterday). Clothes? Yeah, right. I live in the midwest. I will probably need t-shirts AND hoodies over the next couple weeks. And you’ll all be pleased to know that no, in fact I cannot pack my bathroom stuff either as I’m quite attached to regular bathing.

I just…..I want to move NOW. I want it as bad as this Harbaugh wants cake. I WANT IT NOW.

Welcome to the Jungle

I didn’t think I would ever do this.

Let’s face it. I have been a blogger of one kind or another since back in the days of xanga. I have ranged from everyone reading being someone I know to no one reading being anyone I’ve met to some mutation of the two.

It’s never been 100% public. Until now.

What you see before you is the last year or so of what I had to say. The stuff before that? Doesn’t matter.

I mean, sure, it matters in an existential “I’m who I am because of those ‘before’ things,” but doesn’t so much matter in a “let’s show this to everyone” way. That part of me, while still there on the interwebs, will be just….there on the interwebs. A memory. Fading, as memories are wont to do.

So why change my mind now? Impulse I suppose.

The thing is, I already know there are those who won’t like or will disapprove of what I say/how I say it, of what I do, of who I am. And that’s fine. Don’t like? Don’t look.

But this is me. At one point in my life, I wasn’t entirely sure who “me” was, but I know the answer now.

Hi, I’m Ann. I would like to know you. Welcome.

Welcome to the jungle. We take it day by day.

Odd One

It has been a weird few weeks. It has not been bad, but it feels like some crazy shit’s up with the universe.

  • Some of my friends have been dealing with some SERIOUS shit lately. It’s pretty well breaking my heart for all of them, so I do what I do best. Send emails full of random links to funny things. Internet hugs. You know.
  • This past weekend was Mardi Gras. It was, as expected, a bit wild. The wildest part, though not entirely unexpected, was running into a former friend’s fiance. Our conversation was pretty successful in opening some old wounds and making me feel incredibly raw. Not his fault in the slightest, but it was still certainly odd.
  • On a brighter note, GCB and I have been approved for an apartment! We move downtown in just under six weeks. Walking distance to Busch Stadium and Scottrade Center? I’ll take it.
  • So. This past Friday I went to a sports medicine doc about my hip, which hadn’t been feeling much better in the four weeks since that stupid marathon. I had X-rays done plus an exam. Diagnosis? IT band shit, plus a little bursitis thrown in on top of that. I’m now on an anti-inflammatory regiment and will be starting up physical therapy soon. The thing is, I started the NSAIDs on Friday. Today, for the first time since before the race, I went lifting. I had MISSED it, and oh man it was good to be back. I’ll probably be sore tomorrow, but you know what? Worth it. I don’t like how I feel when I’m completely idle for weeks months at a time. I mean, putting my shoes on and driving to the gym, I started to get anxious about the potential pain, but the endorphin boost, seeing the other regulars, sweating, all of it just made me insanely happy.

  • On a somewhat related note, since my hip is neither torn nor fractured, very soon (as in before the end of the week) I’ll be signing up for Tough Mudder. I spent some time today building the framework for a training schedule that I’m pretty pumped about. This, of course, was decided the day after I found out that my marathon is causing me to lose probably my entire right big toenail. After still noticing traces of my blisters. At least that race isn’t until September, giving me a little time to slowly work back into things.
Guys, things have been crazy, but also very good. I am incredibly excited about some of the things I’ve already got planned, and can tell that 2013 is going to be the best year ever.