(Just Like) Starting Over

I know, I know.

work

 

I don’t know if I’d so much call what I’ve done a giving up situation as I’d moved past something to train for, but I definitely stopped, and now I’m DEFINITELY starting over. And you know what? It hurts.

It hurts mentally because, well, shouldn’t this be easier? Ha.

Easy

It hurts physically because of course it does. Because on top of the Mean Abs Challenge from the other day, on top of building up my running, I’ve added the Iron Strength Workout.

Can I just say that it should be illegal to read other blogs and look at Pinterest and even talk to my aunt (seriously, Melissa, OUCH) for workout ideas? Not even joking. Iron Strength, Mean Abs, squat challenges, arm challenges, butt challenges, and I’m still at a point in my training that I’m going, “YAY PLEASE GIVE ME MORE!!!”

Masochism at its finest.

At times, at a lot of times, it would be so easy to go back to endless naps and Oreos and doing all of nothing, but to be perfectly honest, I cannot STAND what it has done to me physically.

I already knew I felt far from my best. I’m slower, weaker, my cardio capabilities aren’t where they could be, I just don’t feel good. I knew that, and it bothered me, even with a boyfriend telling me I am beautiful every day.

And then. Ugh. And then there was the trip to the doctor where I found out that not only do I feel less than stellar, I have actually gained ten pounds in the last few months and am officially the heaviest I have EVER been. On the same day that I moved my belt to the next loop out.

I’ve always been the type to ignore the number on the scale as long as my clothes were fitting properly. Now they’re not fitting properly, plus the scale, and ugh. Just ugh.

If anything will strengthen your resolve to keep at the whole working out/training thing, it’s seeing the scale past THAT number. You know, the personal arbitrary number that you are NOT ok surpassing. It’s different for everyone, obviously, and I’ve surpassed mine.

I’m not ok that I surpassed it. SO not ok.

And now it’s on me to fix it. So I’m fixing it. Getting back to where I am comfortable.

New motivation to eat better, to keep running, to get on the floor and do the sit-ups when my abs are already so on fire it’s difficult getting off the couch.

It’s going to be difficult. Of course it is. But then again.

Nothing in this world that’s worth having comes easy.

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7 thoughts on “(Just Like) Starting Over

  1. Oh, honey…I passed THAT number two years ago and it doesn’t get any easier! You’re smart to get it under control before it gets out of hand. (And this is NOT an endorsement for you being out of shape…just to be clear.) Your boyfriend is right. You ARE beautiful! But I feel you on being frustrated by the number on the scale and the extra belt notch.

    It’s weird that being happy and comfortable shows first around the waist-line. It’s what Mark and I call Fat and Happy! 😉

    • Stupid extra belt notch. I think I might have been ok if not for that. And I know I’m definitely not past the point of no return, but this is not fun. I’ve resigned myself to just being sore for the next forever. Heh.

      • Well, I’m happy to report that I have gone in a belt notch. There might have been a happy dance involved in that one. I have a bunch of notches to go. 🙂

  2. It’s always good to have a line in the sand. You’re right, that number is different for everyone, but everyone SHOULD have that number. That HOLY FUCKING SHIT TIME TO MAKE A CHANGE number. I’ve hit mine 2x in life, and both times it was a good impetus to make a healthy change. You can do this!

    • Thanks, doll! It definitely has motivated me to spend more time thinking about what I’m eating (mac and cheese gets to take a break). Ha. 🙂

  3. I think this is one of my favorite things about kick-ass Ann. She realizes there is a problem, and she fixes it – no excuses. You are one of toughest, bad-ass people I know (through the interwebs anyways). I love how passionate you are, it’s always been inspiring.

    Still love following you and hearing about your life!

    You’ve got this lady!

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