I know, I know.
I don’t know if I’d so much call what I’ve done a giving up situation as I’d moved past something to train for, but I definitely stopped, and now I’m DEFINITELY starting over. And you know what? It hurts.
It hurts mentally because, well, shouldn’t this be easier? Ha.
Can I just say that it should be illegal to read other blogs and look at Pinterest and even talk to my aunt (seriously, Melissa, OUCH) for workout ideas? Not even joking. Iron Strength, Mean Abs, squat challenges, arm challenges, butt challenges, and I’m still at a point in my training that I’m going, “YAY PLEASE GIVE ME MORE!!!”
Masochism at its finest.
At times, at a lot of times, it would be so easy to go back to endless naps and Oreos and doing all of nothing, but to be perfectly honest, I cannot STAND what it has done to me physically.
I already knew I felt far from my best. I’m slower, weaker, my cardio capabilities aren’t where they could be, I just don’t feel good. I knew that, and it bothered me, even with a boyfriend telling me I am beautiful every day.
And then. Ugh. And then there was the trip to the doctor where I found out that not only do I feel less than stellar, I have actually gained ten pounds in the last few months and am officially the heaviest I have EVER been. On the same day that I moved my belt to the next loop out.
I’ve always been the type to ignore the number on the scale as long as my clothes were fitting properly. Now they’re not fitting properly, plus the scale, and ugh. Just ugh.
If anything will strengthen your resolve to keep at the whole working out/training thing, it’s seeing the scale past THAT number. You know, the personal arbitrary number that you are NOT ok surpassing. It’s different for everyone, obviously, and I’ve surpassed mine.
I’m not ok that I surpassed it. SO not ok.
And now it’s on me to fix it. So I’m fixing it. Getting back to where I am comfortable.
New motivation to eat better, to keep running, to get on the floor and do the sit-ups when my abs are already so on fire it’s difficult getting off the couch.
It’s going to be difficult. Of course it is. But then again.
Nothing in this world that’s worth having comes easy.