Fun fact. During Mile Twelve of the half marathon, Steph and I were belting out the Avril Lavigne song that was playing on the side of the road. The other runners were not thrilled with us.

So. Proper forewarning. This is going to be easily the cheesiest, gushiest, girliest, most ridiculous post I have written in possibly my entire life. I mean, there’s going to be a TON of sappiness in this. A TON. I give you this warning so you can go ahead and stop right now if you’d like, if you don’t want to get the gooshy stuff.

Question. I’ve asked this of a few people, but I think a general putting out there of it will be helpful.

This new title of “girlfriend” I’m wearing….does it make my butt look big(ger than it already is)?

Yeah, so Goalie Cop? Now can be referred to as Goalie Cop Boyfriend.

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

I realized this morning that there are so many different sets of my ladies (who are grouped in pairs, strangely enough) to tell about this, yet all of you read here (even, I’m 98% sure, Alison (hi Alison!!)), so here are details/answers/etc.

Ok, so you know the basic story. Met boy, have been on dates with boy, have been swooning about boy, etc. But the details are so much better.

I met GCB through a bunch of Blues fans at one of our watch parties. He caught my eye the INSTANT he walked into that bar. As in, had to pick my jaw up off the floor type caught my eye. I ended up sitting and talking with him, his friend, and his friend’s wife. Guys, I can’t even begin to tell you how strong that spark was. Like sucker punch to the face strong.

As we were walking out that night, he handed me his card. By the time I got home, there was a tweet headed at me telling me that waiting for three days to call or text was SO 2011.

He invited me out for ice cream less than 24 hours later.

Last night everything became “official.” Except for the Facebook part, since I’ll never break up with April on Facebook. Never ever.

Less than two weeks, and Ann has a boyfriend. You know what, though? I have never in my entire life been so sure about someone. Honestly, I was absolutely certain I was going to be with him before we finished eating ice cream on that first date.

Let me tell you about him, and then I’ll break things down.

Like I said, he’s a goalie (so hot…so, so hot) and a police officer. Since he has a public job, I won’t use his name, but he works for St Louis Metro PD. He’s 29 and 6’4 (!!!!!) and makes my stomach flutter every single time I see him. He tells me I’m beautiful and then when I do something he doesn’t expect, he calls me “Fembot.” He’s a huge Blues AND Cardinals fan and has made it perfectly clear that he is just as into this as I am. He’s cooked for me and come out to see me run after only an hour of sleep and a week of knowing each other. He’s gotten monstrous thumbs up from my friends already, and that coming from April is one of the biggest items in his “pro” column.

I haven’t yet found anything that goes in the “con” column.

The best part? He is HERE. He lives 15 minutes from me. Not a different city, not a different state, not four hours away with only the option of seeing each other once a month. HERE. I have gotten to see him nearly every single day since we met.

You guys? I am going to fall for this man.

I know, I know, you guys don’t even know who I am anymore. Trust me, I don’t know this side of me either, but I like her a lot.

Every single day I find a new reason to not let him go. Every single day he makes me smile until my face hurts. Every single day I have butterflies just thinking about him. Every single day he is the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I go to bed. Every time I have to leave him, I am counting down until I get to see him next.

He makes me feel safe and protected, like he will always be there for me to lean on if I need.

Here’s the weird (for me) part. Remember all those emotional walls I’ve got? You know, the ones with reinforced steel and bazookas and little, tiny men on top of them with grenades? They don’t exist. They have completely and totally disappeared. I don’t know where they went or when they went away.

Good fucking riddance.

On top of that, that red flag meter of mine that is so finely tuned that it will go off just being in the same building as a douchebag hasn’t even twitched. Not once.

I am not even slightly worried, not scared, not apprehensive at all about him. I want him in every single aspect of the word, and I will not be letting him go.

You know, it’s weird. I have said this to a couple friends already, but you know how when you look towards the future and wonder how things will be, how it’s all kind of fuzzy and unsure and something that’s nearly unfathomable? Since I met him, I feel like the haze has cleared a little bit, and my future is him. I’m not saying that I’m walking down any aisles, but I don’t want to be without him. Already the thought of him going away is painful.

Also, remember this list? The one wherein I compiled intangible qualities I wanted in someone, qualities that were damn near non-negotiable? So far he is meeting every single one of them. Well, at least the ones that are applicable. There haven’t been any rough spots yet.

What I find interesting is that not only does he meet that list, he meets that other “list” of things that would be nice to have, but I could live without. Things like being taller than me in heels or cheering for the same teams as I do or being able to cook. Hell, he likes Ke$ha and Star Wars.

I mean,  I WANT to cuddle with him. Want to. Voluntarily and often.

When I was telling April all of this at Friday’s home opener, she said, “Well, they say that putting what you want out into the Universe is a way of making sure you get it.”

Ok, Universe, I want to keep him.

I am over the motherfucking moon right now.