Day 16, Today I’m thankful for having friends in St Louis. At one point, I had very few friends here, but now that times have changed, now that people have moved back, it seems there are friends everywhere! That’s a pretty awesome feeling.

Day 17, Today I’m thankful for lazy, lazy Saturdays.

Day 18, Today I’m thankful for a Sunday where I haven’t made any plans, where I can actually wait for a few hours to go running until it warms up to the 60s. It’s going to be a beautiful day to run. At this point, I’ve got a 15 miles scheduled. Lying in bed last night, I realized that my scheduled 15-miler? Is actually 16 miles. I could reroute something, but meh, whatever. I’ll have to run that far soon enough anyway. I’m crazy apprehensive about running this far. Oh well, I’ll only have another 10 miles after that in January. Yikes!

Day 14, Today I am grateful for modern medicine. GCB has been sick this week, and I’m incredibly grateful for drugs (thank you acetaminophen and naproxen) that help bring his fever down and stop his aches. He has been adorably pitiful and has kept me up a few nights–to the point of waking up in the middle of the night, whining, “I JUST. CAN’T. SLEEP anymore,” then promptly rolling over and falling back to sleep–but it’s all been worth it to see and hear him feel better.

Day 15, Today I am grateful to be alive. I know that seems like both a cop-out as well as a repeat of the one I did on my birthday, but lately it’s been so very apparent that this whole living thing is awesome. I found out a few days ago that a former coworker of mine passed away recently. He was 31.

Thirty-one is young (despite what I tell GCB about his upcoming 30th birthday). Too young. Far too young to be found unresponsive on a cold Saturday morning in Michigan.

His death hasn’t come as quite the shock that Kelly’s did a couple years ago, but it’s still weird. One day they’re here, next day they’re not. Quick as that.

And yet I’m still here.

I’ve been thinking a lot about him, and thankfully there aren’t the questions this time that there were with Kelly. I’m not worrying if there was anything I could possibly have done to make the outcome different.

It’s odd. When Kelly died I found this FIRE in me to get out and live every single day to be fuller than ever. This time that intensity isn’t there. What IS there is a desire to not take for granted what I do have, even if those days and those moments aren’t necessarily parade-worthy.

Though my accidentally-slept-through-lifting-session-being-replaced-by-PB&J tonight is still somehow really awesome.

You love PB&J, don’t lie.

So I’m going to just enjoy it. I’m going to mentally prepare myself to run 15 miles on Sunday (!!!!!) and watch Project Runway All-Stars and eat my PB&J. And then when GCB gets home, I’m going to kiss him and hold onto him maybe a little longer than I would normally. Because I’m still here. And he’s still here.

And that, my friends, is so much to be grateful for.

I’m apparently really bad at this.

Day 10, Today I am grateful for my friends. We got to go out to celebrate my birthday, and I was honestly blown away by just how incredible they all are. They made me feel so very loved, and DAMN do they all clean up well. It was a really great night.

Day 11, Today I am grateful for my vets, GCB, quite a few cousins, my grandfather, and all the rest of them out there. I’m grateful that we live in a country where there are those willing to stand up and protect the freedoms we all take for granted daily. We are all pretty damn lucky.

Day 12, Today I am grateful for a job that allows me to take sick time whenever I am not feeling so hot.

Day 13, Today I am grateful for Josey. There are a whole lot of reasons why, but right now all you need to know is that I am.

I know this post is short and lacking in details, and for that I apologize. More detailed posts are forthcoming. Eventually. Just not feeling very wordy today.

Today I am thankful for the passage of time.

This may seem either really obvious or really silly. Let me try to explain.

I recognize that sometimes the passage of time occurs in ways that are less than desirable. There are hints that can show up in the extra lines arount your eyes and mouth when you smile. Perhaps you don’t recover from a night of debauchery as quickly as you used to. Maybe your joints pop and creak far more often than they used to.

But the passage of time can also be really good. It gives you a way to grow out of those awkward teenage years. It lets you gain perspective and an appreciation for things that might otherwise be taken for granted.

The thing that I think I’m most grateful for is moving past the emotional pain that some times in my life have brought.

In the thick of the rough times, it’s incredibly difficult to see that proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. It’s even more difficult to stand there and listen to someone spout, “Time heals all wounds,” without smacking their face off of their face.

And then miraculously, time trudges on, as it always has, and somehow it’s better. Somehow the days are a little brighter, there are fewer reasons to just stay in bed, and things seem positive.

I think about where I am now compared to where I was two years ago, to where I was four years ago, and now is so much better than then.

Another favorite thing about time passing? It can give you the perspective to laugh out loud at the irony of your ex using the same song you used to get over him in order to get over his recent ex.

Day 6, I am thankful for the 19th amendment. I am grateful that so many women before me fought (and in some cases were arrested) for the right to vote. This is not something I take lightly, and I am so happy that I am able to stand up with millions of other women and have our voices HEARD. I am happy that in this election a message was sent, that we don’t want to go back in time to have to fight for our rights again, that we DESERVE bodily autonomy and the right to decide if/when/how many children to have, that we are deserving of equal pay for equal work, and that our voices are here to stay.

Day 7, I am thankful for the ability to talk to friends candidly about certain things that worry me, and get honest feedback that makes me feel way better about my own neuroses.

Day 8, I am thankful that work provides coffee in a seemingly endless supply. Especially today as I didn’t actually sleep throughout the night and am somewhat zombie-ish today. I’m also glad they provide sugar and cream (“Who wants cream…..anybody? Ok, no cream”) since it’s not the best coffee, but hey, free coffee >>>>no coffee.

Day 4, I am thankful for my friends Stephanie and Sarah, the other two in my three amigos. Saturday morning I was starting to make waffles (after GCB had thrown a silly fit about having them RIGHTTHISVERYSECOND instead of later). I turned around at a noise to find my friend Stephanie, who lives in Denver, standing in my kitchen. There was much collusion and subterfuge (up to and including the aforementioned hissy fit) to get her here without me realizing it. She signed up for and ran the half marathon yesterday with me, and I got to spend all day with all three of these incredible people. It makes me feel beyond loved that this has been in the works since JUNE. I’m thrilled that I had a race buddy, and we were able to have probably one of the best (if one of the slower) races in recent memory. It was great to relive the night I actually met GCB (Steph was actually there that night), and it was all-in-all pretty phenomenal. Plus there was this picture, which makes me pretty happy.

Where we met

Day 5, I am thankful to have made it to 28 years old. Granted, being 28 doesn’t feel any different than being 27 yesterday feels, but it’s been a pretty remarkable day. I took a day off work and have been able to lounge around my apartment with GCB just watching movies and spending time with one another. I’ve gotten tons of facebook and twitter comments, texts, emails, and it honestly makes me feel pretty fucking special to have such a remarkable group of people to call my friends. On top of that? I got new sparklies from GCB. See?

No, this is not an engagement ring, nor is it on my finger, as it is currently being re-sized, but I’m pretty pumped about it. I can’t wait to have it back.

Today has been a really, really good day. I have a feeling 28 is going to be the best age ever.

This is going to be a sporadicly posted Thankfulness set of posts, methinks.

Day 2: I am thankful for my job. I’m grateful to have stability and a place that challenges my knowledge and creativity. I am grateful that the company I work for is willing to do so much to take care of its employees whether it be through some pretty awesome benefits or bonuses.

Day 3: I am thankful for my old college buddies, the ones I can talk to on the phone after a(n unintentional) nine month silence and pick up right where we left off. Sometimes I get that unexpected opportunity, and though our lives are drastically different now than they were in college (as they should be), it’s amazing to be reminded that through it all, there are still some pretty incredible reasons we were friends in the first place. It also reminds me that there are other friends from that same group (hi Jamie) that I should probably take some time to call.

The last time I set a goal to write blog posts for 30 days, I burnt myself the fuck out.

Let’s do it again, shall we? Well, kind of.

It’s November now. Crazy, right? I know. But that means that THANKSGIVING is coming. Oh man do I love Thanksgiving. Favorite holiday, right there. I love the food, I love the football, I love the family, and I love tons of facebook posts that remind me that other people are thankful for stuff, so I should be too.

Except I’m not posting this on facebook. You guys get it instead! And instead of 30 days, there are 22. That’s doable, right? Right.

Today I am thankful for my ability to work out, to run.

Sunday I’m running another half marathon. Yesterday I ran four miles. Today I got to lift. In a gym where I can afford a membership.

Look at these opportunities. I have taken moments out of my day to bitch about this, to say out loud, “I’m no more ready for this one than I was for the one two weeks ago.” But I can run. I can afford races. I have the health and the stamina (physical and mostly mental) and the OPPORTUNITY to run. For fun.

I get to go out and do something I love (most days), and people congratulate me! I have a schedule that allows me to take time out of my day for ME to do this.

I am SO thankful that I have the physical capacity to do these things, to feel strong, to be in nearly the best shape of my life (before last October’s half marathon….that was when I was in the best shape).

Things on my body hurt when I do this, and sometimes that’s frustrating. But I CAN do this. I can finish. I can go lift and feel my muscles sculpting and shaping and getting stronger and more toned.

Yesterday’s run was one that left me just happy. I’m thankful for that too.

What are you thankful for today?